Yoghurt and Biscuits

Slammers & Hammers Vol 2.

2009-06-04T02:37:00.000-07:00

Slammers & Hammers Vol 2 is now up, have a look for another insight into the life of Jon.

I.O.W.

2009-06-04T02:35:00.001-07:00

In 8 days im off to the Isle Of Wight festival with Max. Keep your eyes peeled for untold stories and photos of madness.

Midnight Embassy.

2009-05-25T05:13:00.000-07:00

You may have remembered me going on about my brothers band hitting up the Live & Unsigned competiton. If any of you are interested in what they sound like heres a video from the day.

Tailwhip Wallenberg.

2009-05-23T08:23:00.001-07:00

This shit is ridiculous. Eat ittt.

Casey Brown.

2009-05-22T07:09:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since ive updated anything as things have been pretty hectic. Ive turned 18 and been on crutches amongst other things. Anyhow heres some footage of Casey ripping shit up.

Wildcard.

2009-05-16T06:03:00.001-07:00

As some of you know my brothers band recently got through to the semi finals of Live & Unsigned competition. Unfortunately at the latest heat in Aldershot they didn't make it through to the National final HOWEVER they still can make it through on a wildcard entry. All you people have to do is text 'wildcard136' to 84222. itll cost you a quid but its well worth it, get involed and and do your bit!

Listen to some of their music here.

Adam & Jak.

2009-05-13T01:39:00.001-07:00

More Skateboarding >>

Doing what they do best...

John Rob.

2009-05-13T01:33:00.001-07:00

Some ridiculous tricks in here, 0.56?!

Yeah Magazine.

2009-05-11T06:22:00.001-07:00

You may have seen me plug these guys before on here but Yeah Magazine just dropped their second issue, hit up their
website here to get invovled with the next issue or to purchase yourself a copy. Its a really good issue with some great articles and photos, theres even some of my work in there as well. Its well worth the £2.45 (including p&p) you'd otherwise waste on shit all.

Karma 2.

2009-05-10T03:42:00.000-07:00

After posting up Ian's video the other day it seems karma decided to come after me. Lack of concentration whilst skateboarding meant i tweaked my ankle leaving me with severe tendon and tissue damage, on crutches and in need of urgent physio for the next 6 months. I may just pack skateboarding in all together and get rad like this guy.

Karma.

2009-05-07T08:03:00.000-07:00

Check out this video of Ian getting twatted by his own baseball bat.

Oyster Card.

2009-05-07T01:59:00.000-07:00

Oh dear, how anyone can take this seriously i dont know.

09/05/09.

2009-05-06T09:20:00.000-07:00

Stefan Janoskis first pro shoe is definitely a winner, im tempted to invest in some of these for the summer..

Skatepark Jam.

2009-05-06T09:16:00.000-07:00

If you click over to Jons Slammers And Hammers blog you'll see his write up from the other days skateboard jam at Southsea Skatepark. With plenty of faces in attendance, a a sprinkle of magic from Mr Keys and a healthy dose of summer sun it made it a really good day, i even walked away with a t-shirt. Big thanks to Cody for sorting the whole thing out,see you all at the next one!

Underage Festival.

2009-05-04T09:42:00.000-07:00

Bit of a favour to ask as usual regarding anything to do with my brothers band! If you click here, register then leave a nice comment and rating on their song itd help them out alot!

Emsworth 06 - 09.

2009-05-04T03:12:00.000-07:00

Heres an edit Max knocked up containing most of the footage we've filmed at Emsworth between 2006 - 2009. Enjoy.

Queeny.

2009-04-30T10:13:00.000-07:00

I saw this hot babe in the Guildhall today whilst i was working. Its the first time and probably last time ill see her , shame i couldn't get her on the Tiger Tiger guestlist.

Feel The Love.

2009-04-30T02:07:00.000-07:00

This Saturday, Southsea Skatepark. Lets pray for good weather, hope to see you all down there shredding!

King Of S.K.A.T.E

2009-04-27T07:53:00.001-07:00

Apparently this went down pretty well when they did a snowboard version, looks interesting. Click Here to check it out.

Emsworth.

2009-04-24T11:46:00.000-07:00

Heres some footage that Max over at Fiasco filmed yesterday at Emsworth. I've realised i don't actually skate properly anymore, i just ruin boards and do what i can on them. Watch everyone else kill it.

Omegle.

2009-04-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

This website is amazing, basically you just talk to strangers annonymously over the internet. Dickie, Tom and friends are using it purely to get a lol, for example..

Stranger: horny girl?
You: better
You: horny boy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hi
You: hola
Stranger: from...
You: the unemployment line
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Trials.

2009-04-21T08:35:00.001-07:00

This isn't really my thing but its amazing all the same.

Portsmouth Stand Up.

2009-04-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

More Skateboarding >>

Props to Jak Tonge who is now on the Drawing Boards team. His part in the 6:57 video is going to go off, keep your eyes peeled.

Chris Cole.

2009-04-20T05:53:00.001-07:00

I've got no reason to moan when i have to skate something other than an 8 inch deck now, recognize.

Number 1.

2009-04-20T05:45:00.001-07:00

As predicted the 6:57 boys won every category for their Something For The Weekend edit incluuding, best team, best edit and best trick for Adams hardflip.Well done i think everybody, including myself, is looking forwrard to the video even more now!

Yes.

2009-04-20T05:41:00.000-07:00

I want to be this rad when im older.

Something For The Weekend.

2009-04-18T02:39:00.000-07:00

More Skateboarding >>

Heres the 6:57 entry for Reskues Something For The Weekend competition. Its ridiculous, they should definitely win the majority of the categories. Due to my late updates the polls to vote for them are closed but you need to have a watch anyway.

Bolwells Birthday.

2009-04-18T02:34:00.001-07:00

Apologies for the lack of updates, i havn't been able to sign in for a few days for some reason. Anyway this weekend is Ken Bolwells birthday weekend, he's the big 18 so if you see him about get him a drink just don't let him take you to Heavens Scent whatever you do!

Camping.

2009-04-11T07:01:00.001-07:00

Camping turned out rad with alot more people turning up than expected. Click here to see some of the pictures. There should be more up when Max returns from the 'slightly weaker than planned' Skegness mission.

Embers.

2009-04-11T06:53:00.000-07:00

I don't care what people say, its a summer tune.

What Makes Us Tick.

2009-04-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

Here is Max's final trailer for his video, What Makes Us Tick. I can't wait to see the finished piece.

Tomorrow.

2009-04-03T11:19:00.000-07:00

Camping. Tomorrow. Arundel. Details here.

Shaping Southsea.

2009-03-31T13:09:00.000-07:00

Have your say on what you want to see in Southsea, get involved.

Reading Festival 2009.

2009-03-31T11:08:00.000-07:00

After 12 hours of queueing up outside HMV yesterday i got my hands on a Reading ticket for 2009 without even knowing the lineup. Its not amazing but it could be alot worse.

Skateboarding.

2009-03-29T12:17:00.000-07:00

Heres some proof that i do still skate, im not saying anything about the quality of the content.

Jimmy Carlin.

2009-03-28T11:38:00.001-07:00

This dude is rad, watch out for the ender.

False Advertising.

2009-03-27T05:16:00.000-07:00

I certainly wasn't thinking of KFC when i watched this.

Fight Club.

2009-03-25T14:47:00.001-07:00

After a few too many beers Dan and Max get a little worked up. The best bit is 50 seconds in..

Arundel Saturday 4th/Sunday 5th.

2009-03-25T06:33:00.000-07:00

Every year we always go camping in Arundel, with the weather getting better we've decided to do it again on Saturday 4th April. Get all the details over at the facebook group.

Charge Bikes.

2009-03-24T07:45:00.000-07:00

I've been looking into get a bike for a while and with summer on its way now seems like the perfect time. Theres some really nice ready to ride completes over at chargebikes.com. I've particularly got my eye on these two..

What Makes Us Tick.

2009-03-22T05:44:00.000-07:00

Coming soon.

Fiasco Skateboarding.

2009-03-21T05:23:00.000-07:00

With the help of Charlie, Max has got his new website/blog up.Theres loads of stuff on there, to take a look click here. Stoked on my link image!

Spitfire Love.

2009-03-21T04:05:00.000-07:00

Stole this from the guys over at Strong Island. Davis Torgeson laying down a rad backsmith whilst wearing an even radder t-shirt. Save Southsea Skatepark tees getting global recognisation. Word.

Asher Roth - I Love College.

2009-03-18T13:16:00.000-07:00

This song reminds me of just how rad house partys are.

Strong Island Bike Ride.

2009-03-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

The guys over at Strong Island have organised a bike ride for Sunday 12th April. Take a butchers at the Strong Island blog for more information, very intrigued in the 'Fisherman Chic' theme!

Yeah Magazine

2009-03-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

Yeah Magazine is a local quarterly theme based magazine. I've got hold of the first issue already and theres some rad stuff in there. Get involved here.

St. Patricks Day.

2009-03-11T16:30:00.000-07:00

An Seisiun are playing at Little Johnny Russels nex Tuesday. They describe themselves as turbo folk with Irish jigs and Scottish reels with an edge. Apparently the last time they played at LJR there was over 200 people dancing on the tables and swinging from the light fittings. Find the link to the facebook group here and get involved.

Between Red.

2009-03-11T10:42:00.000-07:00

If you've got a spare bit of time on your hands before 5th April, pop down to the Aspex Gallery in Gunwharf and check out the Between Red exhibition by Korean artist Sea Hyun Lee. Well worth a look.

Tweakerzine V2.

2009-03-06T11:07:00.000-08:00

Tweakerzine head Gorm has been working really hard in the last few weeks in getting the new site up and running. Tweakerzine V2 has loads of new articles (tonnes of photos, sequences and videos) as well as lots of new features like the ability to comment on specific articles, post articles to Facebook, Twitter, etc plus a bunch of other stuff. You'll also find a little something that I cooked up in there as well. Click here to take a look.

Kicks

2009-02-27T07:05:00.000-08:00

Im trying to get rid of some kicks to free up some space. First up is the Nike Sb Shogo Lordless Warrior Blazers, size 9. The pictures are of terrible quality but i assure you they are pretty much brand new, hardly been worn, holla at me with an offer?

Hammers.

2009-02-26T07:57:00.001-08:00

Heres a photo of Jak that i stole from the 6:57 site. At the moment he's dropping more hammers than a clumbsy builder. Keep your eyes peeled for his full length 6:57 video part coming soon, its bound to be a romper stomper!

Golden Oldey.

2009-02-24T09:51:00.000-08:00

Check out this news report about a 71 year old inliner who got arrested for dangerous skating. Some quality quotes in there, he absolutely loves it!

Old Shool.

2009-02-23T03:51:00.000-08:00

I remember having a youtube account a while ago and recently came across it again. Amongst other things i found some old skate footage that i thought id put up on here for your perusal. Its good to see the people i used to see again and also to remember how easy things were back then when all we used to do was skate all day! Enjoy.

The Universe.

2009-02-22T17:18:00.000-08:00

I've come to realise the bible was bullshit, a fairytale conjured up to capture the minds of those most gullible. God, Jesus, Mary they're all fictional, nothing more than ideas thought up by some old fella who had done one tab too many. It seems only two people on this planet know the truth about the creation of the universe, i bring to you the story of the universe as told by Sir Thomas Moon and Dr. Elliot Russel.

Save Fairfields.

2009-02-22T14:36:00.001-08:00

Legendary skate spot Fairfields, Croydon, is being shut down by the local council. A recognizable spot in many videos and British skateboarding in general as well as home to UK skateboarderPaul Shier, Fairfields needs to be cleaned up and redeveloped to what is once was. Basically, without sounding like anymore of a nancy boy, what im trying to say is just sign the petition.Check out some footage of Fairfields and Shier in Blueprints Lost And Found.

Boring.

2009-02-22T14:13:00.000-08:00

I know i've been incrdibly boring lately, nothing remotely interesting is happening and my head, usually full of thoughts, has become dry like an old ladies personal bits. I have finally got one of those hit counter thingymajigs on here so i can see how many of you are or are not looking at this. Its probably a downfall adding one of these as i can see just how silly i must look talking to the 8 people in the world who have visited this, all of them by accident. Dans got himself a new blog together which can be found here howcouldirefuse. Also if you get yourself over to the 6:57 website you'll find some sick trailers for some international independent skate videos. Have a butchers.

Links.

2009-02-15T05:15:00.000-08:00

Theres some new links ging up on the side of the page, you should definitely check them out if you've got some spare time on your hands. If you want your link on here just give me a shout, cameronlindley@hotmail.co.uk.

Stranger.

2009-02-15T04:26:00.001-08:00

I've been busy so havnt really had time to write on here, i'm finally working amongst other bits and bobs so talking to invisble faces on the internet has slipped in my list of things to do. To be honest i havn't really got much to say however im sure i can bore you with a few pararagraphs at least. Theres meant to be a trip to Skegness starting tomorrow morning but i think i'll count myself out of that one. As much as i love bro downs, copious amount of nicotine and liquid yeast the 2 days notice means funds are low and people are dropping out like flys. Maybe in the summer ill venture somewhere other than Emsworth but at the moment i need to get my save on and get some fresh garms, I think dirt is the only thing holding my jeans together right now. The 6:57 video is coming along well, keep checking the blog for random snippets of footage at www.sixfiftyseven.co.uk, Curtis aboslutely annihalted us lot in a game of skate yesterday meaning i know his part will be full of tricks i wouldn't even consider trying to learn. Also im still trying to shift tickets for my brother, he's playing at Fernham Hall, Fareham on the 7th March so if you want a ticket get hold of either me or them. This isn't just a normal gig, its for some Live and Unsigned contest so the more the support the merrier. Get involved.

Another Ask.

2009-02-06T06:45:00.000-08:00

Another favour to ask im afraid! My brothers band are playing a gig at The Talking Heads in Southampton on the 12th February which is next Thursday for all of you who care. Unfortunately they have to sell a certain amount of tickets to be called back to play again. Like i said before the majority of their support comes in the form of 14 year old girls and boys so getting the money together for a ticket and to be able to get to Southampton and back is a pbit of a problem. Do them a favour and grab yourself a ticket off of either me or through their myspace.

www.myspace.com/midnightembassy

Get Involved.

2009-01-30T14:25:00.001-08:00

Bit of a strange request for you now. My brothers in a band and theyre doing pretty well for themselves, some of you may have seen them play, others i know have been to see them but may just remember the inside of a pint glass. Anyhow they got through the regional finals of the Live and Unsigned contest and are playing on 7th March at Fernham Hall, Fareham. They need to sell a minimum of 25 tickets for this gig to be able to play and the aim of this is to see exactly how much support they have. Tickets are 6 quid and as its in Fareham most of their teeny bopper supporters will have spent their money on choccie bars, sherbet and those playing cards you can buy when you go on holiday that have pictures of naked women on them. This means they're struggling to sell as many tickets as possible so im asking you lot for some support. Its a daytime gig and they're only playing 2 songs however there are other bands playing so is not going to be a pointless venture. He assures me that theres a bar so that must be an incentive for some of you. Either ask me for a ticket on Facebook or get one off them through their myspace. Get involved.

www.myspace.com/midnightembassy

Dissapointed.

2009-01-22T15:28:00.000-08:00

When i first met young Joe Paget we got on really well. An enthusiastic little ripper with whom i had high prospects for the devleopment of both his skateboarding and lifelong future. He never smoked, never drunk and never once saw a vagina. Whilst the thought of this to me and you may seem prosperous it was what kept him pure and almost holy. With his bleached blonde hair catching the sun off his unshapely head on many occasion whislt skateboarding i often thought he was an angel gifted with a plank of wood with 4 wheels rather than wings. It is to my horror that i have now come to learn he is a drug addict. Caught smoking weed in what appears to be a London drug den whilst his peers watched on in disgust. He is said to have sold all 47896658 pairs of his size 4 Nike Sb's, his whole skateboarding dvd archive spanning a total of almost 348732463 dvd's and last week was caught driving his dads Ferrari through a field at 110mph. When stopped by the police and asked what he was doing he simply replied 'Im motherfuckin high bitch'. Our prayers go out to you Joe hopefully so that you can get off the drugs and once again become the inward heelflipping, late shove it, body popping boy that we all loved and cherished. Here is a video of Joe after one too many spliffs, if you see him plese keep your distance. The constant intake of Ganja has APPARENTLY made him smell like piss. More information as i get it.

Poverty.

2009-01-18T15:10:00.000-08:00

Due to wasting so much money on booze and clothes to the extent that now ive hit poverty ive decided to get rid of a couple of pair of shoes i never wear. They're both Nike SB, both size 9 and both basically brand new. Any takers?

Thieves Guild.

2009-01-12T17:54:00.000-08:00

Theives Guild is a new project from Craig Jackson, go to their website, do yourself a favour and grab yourself some fresh garms. Keep an eye out for big things from them.

www.thievesguild.co.uk

Joe Paget.

2009-01-12T13:27:00.000-08:00

He spent New Years Eve in Guildford no matter what he says.

6:57 Trailer

2009-01-08T07:40:00.001-08:00

This should be banging, keep an eye out for more updates.

Hmmm.

2009-01-04T09:23:00.000-08:00

The last 3 weeks have been pretty much a blur as for some unbeknown reason everyday seemed like a good day to hit up the pub and go out and party. Whilst i remember little of christmas and new years eve/day i do remember most of the places, people and things we did. I thought id some it up in a weird sentency paragraph thing as writing about each time individually would take an age. This probably won't make any sense but ill give it a go anyway.

The registry - daily local watering hole. Beer and burger. Stella. Cunt. New Years in Guildford. Charlie mateee. Fuck off is the new goodbye. 3 weeks til' your dead mate. Abercrombie and Fitch. Roll me a fag. Drive us here. Are you lot 15? Dickie getting beaten up. Give me a Strongbow or ill pull a knife on you. Do you want some crack? Bumbank. Bridge jump. Wetherspoons at 11 for a Stella on New Years day. Jerri punching Max. Ive got the shakes because i havn't had a drink in 6 hours. Nocturnal. Quail egg pizza and dodo egg ommlette. Im skint. Look at the city its so beautiful. Potato chopping window. Our familes hate us. Ive just coughed up my lung. Max living out the boot of his car for a week. Same clothes. THAT night in the car. Thats it your leaving being heard from most pubs and clubs. When you were in year 7 i was in my first year of college. Fast car. Tramp. Treadmill fun. Got any underwear i can borrow? I havn't brusheed my teeth in 4 days. The Fleet. Max dropping his pint in Walkabout over everyone and everything. Bette Davis Eyes. Do you want a fight? Bringing arms. Floors and sofas. How old are you? Dead battery. Can i use your phone? Massive baked bean. Wheres the girls? High vis jacket - fuck off . Big Dick beating a man down with a dumbell. Tagletelli shoes. 150miles in 2 days. Beans in a bowl with a roll. 10p of petrol = 100miles. Thats bang. Basement party. Jagerbomb. Police saying fuck off you losers. Cityscape pictures. Mortal Kombat. Sticking curry in a girl. This car smells/looks like shit. I don't even know when im drunk or sober anymore. Back to normality.

Brighton.

2008-12-28T04:00:00.000-08:00

I could fill up the whole of the internet writing about last night but i won't, ill try and keep it short yet wholely entertaining. Last night was quite possibly one of the weirdest, funniest experiences of my life, maybe apart from the time i first pooed myself and it fell down my leg and got stuck due to my elasticated power ranger pyjama bottoms, that was quite cool as well. Anyway, after a heavy session the night before which resulted in singing Elvis songs until 3 in the morning me and Dickie in true alcoholic style decided to go straight to the pub upon arising for some gold old fashioned liquid yeast. It was then he dropped the plan of going to Brighton to see Speed The Collapse, our mates band. Fuck it, excuse to booze, somewhere different, why not. Shortly after Dan got involved however by the time he reached the pub at 5 we were already well on it. Picking up some Stella for the train we set off, changing at Chichester for a reason nobody knows except Dan but he won't tell us because he's queer. Upon arrival in Brighton we found out the pub was called 'The Fat Dyke' or something along those lines, great, Dickie paid for a taxi because he was minted until this morning and it was bloody cold. Got there and i didn't know whether to laugh or fuck off straight back to Pompey. We had travelled for a proper local boozer full of regulars and about 8 people under the age of 186. After getting accosted for i.d we sat down and spent some more quality time with Stella. Watched some band with a hot babe in it then watched the band we had come to see. By this point Dickie was well on his way and had already smashed a pint glass however blamed it on Dan. I did the same not long after yet no matter how many times we offered to help clean the glass up they wouldn't let us. Maybe they were afraid we'd try and stab them all or something, i don't know. Weird though. In the end we got asked to leave as they had enough of Dickie and his drunken antics ruining they're quaint establishment. No room in any cars for a lift back to Portsmouth we decided our only option was to walk into town and drink so we started strolling, everyone rejected something from the pit of their stomachs which was pretty sweet, syncronization. My memorys a bit hazy about the next bit but i remember getting in a taxi and offering to pay £85 to get to Chichester which to be fair would have been pointless anyway as thats not exactly close to the blue army. After lots of being dicks we ran off, why i don't know but it happened. Then i found some money so i thought id get some cheeky beers from an off license, god knows why but none were consumed, simply thrown at each other like little metallic parcels of fun. It won't be fun for the bloke who finds the one Dickie slotted through his car window, if your reading this, Dickies sorry. The kebab house was next, as we thought this was where we were staying we really dragged it out, 2 kebabs with some shite salad, Dan looking ready to vomit and Dickie thinking he's king fucking kong eating some super spicy hot chilli sauce that could have used to melt metal. I tried a little bit and my mouth turned to niagra fools and i was reduced to a dribbling mess, Dickie was eating it like it was chocolate mousse. 285856 pints of water later he chilled out, gave me and Dan a giggle though so in our eyes it was worth it. Found some fellas who pointed us in the direction of some boozers and off we went. Found 2 girls outside of Burger King, Dan loved them, they couldn't come with us although one of them was well up for it. They did look about 14 though so best not really, Dickie proceeded to dump tackle me onto a sign for no reason. Maybe he just got bored, fair play. Ended up in some place, was alright and open til 3 so it killed some more time. Me and Dan were about 3 sips into a pint and we see these mound of empty glasses on the table where Dickies just done about 20 Jaggerbombs to himself. After that he got a bit weird, walked off with some dude with a broken arm jus so the could get more money out of the cashpoint and buy him a Jaggerbomb too.This behaviour continued along with him buying the barmaid drinks, or so he thought, as she just kept putting his money in the tip jar. Unlucky really, she had a face like a slapped arse anyway. After they basically asked us to leave we decided to look elsewhere, finding a 24 hour bar /restaurant but not wanting to buy anything except booze which apparently is not allowed, we quickly left. Whilst im smoking Dickie and Dan have worked there way onto the top floor of the Travelodge and are sleeping in a corridor. Me meanwhile is left to walk in only to be greeted by some batty boy of a receptionist with bleach blonde hair and a fucking hitler tash. Im not the sort of person to stereotype people but he was a grade A cockrocket. Eventually Travelodge had enough and Mr Fritz found them two and kicked us all out. The 24 hour bar place looked our only hope so onward we marched with Dan trying to get himself arrested on the way simply for a bed. The 5-0 wern't feeling it so we left them to fight real criminals and went to fill our tumtums. By now funds were low so after squaring it with Dickie it was agreed he'd pay by card for me and Dan to get 2 breakfasts and 2 Stellas however with Dickie not even knowing his own name when the bill came we had to convince him AGAIN that paying for it was the right thing to do. Me and Dan got stuck in and had a deep chat about some bullshit whilst Dickie slumped semi concious in the corner. Making a breakfast and a pint last 2 hours is bloody hard work, even more so when you just want to sleep yet the train station wasn't open til 5 so we didn't have a choice. After nearly getting the boot from there due to Dickie being asleep we got a cheeky taxi to the station picking up a few more cold bevvies for the journey home. Met some absolute nutter of a german guy at the station who had been beaten up but was some ex boxer so apparently fought off 3 lads. Again, im not going to stereotype, but this fella must have been an ex boxer in like 1890, he was well passed his sell by date. He did wind me whilst showing me how he fought, a swift elbow to the stomach and my ice cold beer was on its way back up.Shortly after this i nearly got battered to death by some hench South African guy and his cage fighting mate. Dan had ran off to grab a fence post or some shit whilst me and Dickie saw our lives flash before our eyes. Im not going to go into details but we worked it all out eventually, he gave us a few muscle tips and some scare tactics so we're all set for next time. Eventually saw life in the form of a train however they only went to London with our train not arriving for another 2 hours. Fuck waiting lets go was the general thought. The planned slowly changed to 'we're going to Epsom to Dickies sisters house at liek 7 in the morning'. This plan was aborted when, after all falling asleep, Scrooge himself woke us up and booted us off the train for drinking, not having tickets, swearing, being abusive, and yeah. He made it all up to be honest, we just wanted him to fuck off so we could sleep as my stomach ran out of the room to hold anymore beer. Stuck in East Croydon our mission brief changed back to Portsmouth, after what seemed like an age a train arrived and 3 hours later i reached home soil. 6 hours later im still drunk. Epic.

Worlds Coolest Pet.

2008-12-17T13:22:00.000-08:00

The Coconut Crab (Birgus latro) is the largest land-living arthropod in the world. It is a highly apomorphic hermit crab and is known for its ability to crack coconuts with its strong pincers in order to eat the contents. It is also called the robber crab or palm thief, because some Coconut Crabs are rumored to steal shiny items such as pots and silverware from houses and tents.

Now to me these seem like one of the coolest pets to have. Firstly they're scary, any sucka comes near you, POW , you just wack out your coconut crab and they're gone. This could help solve knife crime in many areas as people would simply carry around their coconut crabs instead of blades, get meh? Secondly they can crack coconuts with their pincers. This could come in handy for opening an all manner of things, jam jars, bake bean tins, bank safes. It really does all depend on your chosen profession. They're living can openeners, boltcutters and gullotines all rolled into one really. Finally its been know they like to go on the rob. PERFECT. Forget signing on, need a bit of extra dosh? Send one of these bad boys into town and they'll come back with all manner of gifts for your selling pleasure. They would be extra handy at festivals as Wikipedia ensures me they are able to steal from tents. Value for money if you ask me. These beasts are going to be hotter than Pokemon cards were, coming soon to a pet shop near you in 2009.

Thomas 'The Alcoholic' Jefferies.

2008-12-10T08:31:00.000-08:00

I'd like to introduce you to Thomas 'The Alcoholic' Jefferies and a few of his hobbys after one too many turbo shants....

Getting his friends to repeatedly slap and punch him in the face. Dropping his i.d so many times he might as well just chuck it away. Screaming fuck off too everybody who talks to him after reaching his peak of turboshantedness. Trying to obtain high fives from every innocent bystander in a nineties fashion. Smelling me and my washing detergent even more than usual. Getting on it so much his friends have to carry him home. Setting off the alarm whilst entering his own home. Finding the ability to pull anything but a normal face in photographs.

College Dropout.

2008-12-10T06:56:00.000-08:00

We all the knew it was going to happen sooner or later but after a year and 3 months i finally dropped out of college. Its not really a big deal like people are making out though to be honest. I'll just go back to college next year, yeah i suppose ive wasted some time but who cares. All it means now is that when the first years turn up on my new course next year, if i don't tell them im a few years older than them, i can just pretend im an old looking 16 year old. This is a strategy that could be used to pick up babes however knowing me they'll probably be some 16 year old boys that will look older than my, then to be, 19 year old self anyway. If that occurs ill simply wear a comedy pair of glasses and moustache, sit at the back of the class and perve. Thats right. Perve.

Good News Bad News.

2008-12-05T10:39:00.000-08:00

Not that most of you will care but i recently joined the world of employment for the build up to christmas. This unfortunately means that tomorrow nights record breaking beer tower attempt will have to be postponed! As i will now be working every Saturday night up until christmas it looks like the experiment shall take place on an up and coming Friday. Im sorry to every hopeful record breaker who wanted to be a part of history, your time will come. Ill put up the details soon.

Romper Stompers.

2008-12-05T07:36:00.001-08:00

Adam and Jack lay down some heavy romper stompers at Skaterham. Last trick madness.

Pure EVIL.

2008-12-02T05:52:00.000-08:00

This is a warning for all people in the Portsmouth area, if you see this girl DO NOT approach at any cost. Whilst she may look cute and innocent, she is the spawn of satan, sent to earth to destroy humanity. Only last night i was brutally abused and violated by her, fuelled on a diet of neat vodka, rage and hatred she attacked me with a series of edible treats. Whilst i survived my brand new, white t-shirt never. Like i said beware, she is PURE EVIL.

In The Name Of Science.

2008-11-30T11:32:00.000-08:00

Right this ones for all of the heavy beer drinkers out there. I am inviting you to take part in a scientific experiment which is to create the largest beer tower ever created in one night. The event will take place at my house this weekend, Saturday December 6th at 7pm, entrance fee is 16+ beers. Whilst i cannot offer payment for taking part in this experiment i can ensure that fun times will be had by all and, as its all in the name of science, theres nothing irresponsible about it. If your up for getting involved and being part of history then sign up today. My house isn't a homeless hostel, i can't fill it to the brim. The plan is to drink all of the beers, make the tower then go out and drink booze in a respectable establishment. Let me know before you creep up or else ill get people to beat you down,big people. Holla.

Coming Soon.

2008-11-30T04:52:00.000-08:00

Coming soon on DVD, with guest apperances from Boris Johnson. www.sixfiftyseven.co.uk

Career Choices.

2008-11-30T04:19:00.001-08:00

The t-shirt design above, mixed with a dash of WWE, washed down with a hint of Carlsberg helped Darren, Johnny, Ed and myself decide our future careers. Like Buddha when he suddenly reached enlightenment after sitting under that tree for so long we all suddenly felt we had found our callings in life. To start with we're going to become wrestlers. Spandex costumes, big guns and loads of shit tattoos. Don't ask why, this WILL be neccessary for the rest of our lives. After this we plan on forming a boyband, not a big aim i know but we need the collateral for future projects. Using our wrestling skills and natural talent we will capture the hearts of the nation, simply DDTing and Peoples Elbowing anybody who stands in our way. We will also be part time ice cream salesmen, this bears no releavnce to our plan we just think it would be fun. After this, using all of our income so far which will roughly be around £4860 million, we will invent the Squidgy Bubble (TM). More to come soon..

Emsworth.

2008-11-27T11:24:00.000-08:00

I hadn't got anything filmed in ages so did this just so that i had the right to say i was still a skateboarder. Don't expect no Mike Mo.

Magic.

2008-11-27T09:08:00.000-08:00

So the other night after a few too many watered down yet brilliantly cheap beers, i realised that i had lost my phone. I remembered using it to call a friend of mine down Elm Grove so knew i must have dropped it somewhere around there. The next day i got a call from Wightlink saying somebody had found my phone in the ferryport and handed it in. Being nowhere near the ferryport my phone had made an incredible journey that did not seem possible. I came too one of two conclusions, it had been picked up by a dishonest passer by and then karma had made them drop it as well OR it had sprouted legs and walked to the ferryport however got denied access due to not having an indate passport. Needless to say i was amazed i got it back. Magic.

Thoughts.

2008-11-26T06:16:00.000-08:00

I sometimes feel like i have too many thoughts going round in my mind wanting too escape, like when you have one pint too many and the next morning its a case of either get to the toilet or shit yourself as that evil pint decides he wants too escape too. Now i've been lucky enough to find a toilet in time but i imagine if i didn't it'd be pretty nasty. I don't even know how thoughts escape when you have too many of them but, on the off chance it would be pretty nasty too, i thought id simply let them escape here.